How to Write Concise and Professional English Emails: A Guide to Team Decision Reports

Trace team has come to a decision to use Misha's gallery. Now he's going to send an email message to his supervisor, Michael. In Course 1 on Networking, you learned about format and tone. You can review that now if you like. In this lesson, we'll look at content when reporting a decision. Remember, an email should be short and focused, but it should also include the most important information. Let's start with the things you should do. As with any business communication, we want to be clear about what our purpose is. State your reason for writing in the first sentence or two. Be specific. There may be many people reporting about the same general topic. Next, you want to tell the person what your decision is. Be sure the decision is clear. After that, you want to explain your reasons for making that decision. Be sure your reasons are clear. You can include your priorities here. Include any important changes or special requests that you have based on the decision. Finally, say what you will do next if action is required. When you end the message, say that you are available to discuss any of the details.

Now, let's look at some things you don't want to do. Don't give too much detail about things like costs or schedules in the email message. If you need to include that information, send a spreadsheet or other attachment. Don't write about disagreements within your team. You want the decision to be a team decision. It should sound like the whole team came to the same decision. Don't include too much extra and unnecessary information. Keep the reasons brief. You can explain in detail later if there are questions.

Now, let's look at an email message and apply what we've learned. Here is a message that Trey wrote to his supervisor. There seems to be too much of some things. There also seems to be some things missing. Take a look and think about how we can help Trey improve his message. That seems like an awfully long email message, doesn't it? Let's see if you saw the same mistake that I did. Let's start with the subject line. You learned in course one to write a clear descriptive subject. Could this be a little clearer? I think we can add some words to make it clearer to the reader. Now, let's look at the greeting. A lot of young people use this greeting, but using hey isn't very professional. Everyone on the team knows Michael by his first name, so it's okay to use a first name, even for a supervisor. This is common in the U.S. However, I should write, hi Michael, or just Michael. I usually prefer that.

Trey should start his message by telling Michael why he is writing. He does that very nicely. It's very specific. He mentions the venue and the launch party. But what does he do wrong here? He gives a long explanation about why it took so long. This is unnecessary information. In fact, it makes his team look bad. Let's get rid of that, okay? Now, Trey should tell Michael what the decision is. He gives a short background. Nice. Then he tells the decision. So do you see a problem in this paragraph? Right. He tells Michael about everyone's opinion. It doesn't sound like a team decision at all. Let's delete that part too.

In this paragraph, Trey explains which things they considered in their decision. That's helpful for Michael. Which things in this paragraph are not helpful for Michael? The last sentence, right? They did discuss these things, but they weren't their top priorities. Trey tells us there were lots of reasons to choose Misha's. What's missing? He doesn't say the reasons in his first two sentences. Let's rewrite this by giving specific reasons for their decision. When you give reasons, you can say why you chose one thing. You can also say why you didn't choose another. Let's look at the sentences we added. When we give reasons for not choosing something, we can use these phrases. To plus an adjective. It's too far. It's too expensive. When we use too in this way, it means there's a problem. We don't use it with positive things. For example, we wouldn't say the venue is too beautiful. We can use a bit and a little to make the comments sound softer, especially if it sounds like a complaint. It's a bit too far. It's a little too expensive. We can also use this phrase, not plus adjective, plus enough. It's not big enough. When we use this phrase, it also means there's a problem. We can add quite to make this sound softer too. Be careful with the word order. Don't say it's not enough big. This is a common mistake.

Okay, let's go back to our email message. In this paragraph, Trey tells Michael they have an important new idea. But there is a lot of other information too. What should Trey do here instead? This would be a good place for an attachment with all the details. Trey was in a hurry, it looks like. He forgot two things here. What are they? He forgot to say what his next action is. Let's add that. He wants to tell Michael he's available to talk about the decision. Let's add that too. We want to end with a professional closing. That's an easy one, right? We can be informal in the closing, but later is too informal. It's okay with friends, but not in business. We always want to be respectful. Remember, this is Trey's supervisor. Let's change that.

Well, now we have a nice professional email. It is focused and clear. We have: a professional greeting, a reason for writing, a clear decision, the priorities they considered, the reasons for the decision, important new information, an attachment with details, a plan of action, and an invitation to discuss the decision. A nice, friendly closing sentence. And finally, a professional closing that is informal, but respectful. Let's look at those questions again. Do the team members make compromises? Yes, they do. They compromise on the view and the downtown location. What decision does the team make? They chose Misha's gallery. After this lecture, let's review what we've learned with a short quiz.